Officespeak

This came in an email forwarded to me. Quite hilarious, the unusual translations.

Office Language.... ...

It's too good........ .

1.."We will do it" means" You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means" More work will be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working it"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" Its not getting done, At least not till tomorrow!"

5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means" I have already decided, I will tell you what to do.

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means" We lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time to talk now"

8."We can always do it" means" We cannot do it on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "We screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means" find a way out yourself, no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would not have mattered!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means" I will tell you where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,"means," You are not going home unless you finish your job"

15."We are a team," means," Everybody shares the blame"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means" You are in trouble"

Regards,
N.Raghavan